Sailor Pandemonium
by Mystic Dragoness
Summary: A strange and possibly disturbing story in which my cousin and me (the authors) are main characters... hey, give it a try! story is PWP, TWT, OOC... etc ^_^
1. Chaptah 1

DISCLAIMER: We don't own Pokémon, but we do own all original characters, ourselves, and Zach and Andy. Please do not steal any of them without our consent. 

NOTES: (PLEASE READ!!)Well! This is our story, that Rachel and I are writing. It is currently still in progress. It is grand. But the first few chapters are rather boring, I'm afraid. But in order to understand the story, you must read them. THE STORY GETS BETTER. By about chapter 5, I think, is when it starts to improve (it is about the point where we wrote broccoli eyes), and when you reach the most current chapters, it is very wonderful. IT IS HUMOROUS. *cough* In my very own humble opinion, that is. All characters are OOC, other than perhaps myself and Rachel. One of us writes a chapter, and it switches. The author of the chapter will be indicated at the beginning. It takes a while to write, we've been working on it for quite some time through the mail. Sometimes we lost track of the plot, but this does not matter. ENJOY! COMMENTS APPRECIATED!! :D Oh yes, and one more thing. After a while, the general sailor moon characters kind of... disappear. But do not let this stop you. You will become quite attatched to our delightful lovable characters by this time. :) 

WARNING: This story really is truly insane. Please, those of you that don't particularly enjoy insanity, don't read it. *hugs* 

SAILOR PANDEMONIUM 

(author: rachel) 

Serena: I'm late! I'm late for school again! Bye Mom! Bye Dad! Love you! 

Luna: (standing on the street) Serena! It worked! I set your clock an hour ahead and now you have time to walk to school! 

Serena: Luna! I can't believe you! I'm going back to bed! Hmpph! 

Serena turns around and runs into (literally) two girls about her own age. One has light brown hair, and the other dark brown. 

Serena: Oh, I'm so sorry! For some reason I can never walk down a street without doing something extremely stupid. My name is Serena. What's yours? 

Light brown hair: Hi, I'm Rachel. And this is my cousin Dalena. We're from the real world, and we have no idea why we're in animé land again, so don't ask. It seems to happen a lot. So Dalena, where would you say we are this time? You're the expert. 

Dalena: Let me look around a minute. Hmmm... considering the scenery, and that this is Serena, who is always late for school and can't walk, I'd definitely say this is Sailor Moon. 

Rachel: Good! I'm getting tired of Pokéland, and Sailor Moon is better anyhow. 

Luna: You mean, you know who this is? 

Rachel: Sure Luna. 

Dalena: Yeah, we told you we're from the real world. 

Luna: No, no, no, you don't understand. You wouldn't remember who we were unless you were also from 1,000 years in the past. Unless Serenity sent you here with Serena and the others. You must be Sailor Daemon and Sailor Sunrise! Yes, Dalena, I believe you are Daemon. Rachel, you must be Sunrise. 

Dalena: US? Sailor Scouts? 


	2. Chaptah 2

(author: dalena) 

Rachel: Awesome! 

The girls jumped up and down and high-fived. 

Rachel: Okay, now Sunrise I get, but what the heck does Daemon mean? 

Luna: Daemon means guardian spirit. Now, you two new Scouts must have your wands! 

Lna jumped around in a wierd circle thing and two wands clattered to the ground at the girls' feet. 

Rachel picked up her wand. It had a miniature glowing sun atop it and an elaborate golden handle. Dalena's was topped with a faceted crystalline ball with wings. They waved their wands about experimentally, and unfortunately, just as two high-school boys walked by. They walked off, laughing and pointing at Rachel and Dalena. 

Dalena: Dang it! We can't just go scaring away all the hot guys! 

Rachel: Argh! 

Both girls had tears streaming down their faces. 

Serena: (sweatdrop major) Geez! I understand getting emotional about guys, but- 

Luna: (many sweatdrops) I'm sure they'll fit right in here, Serena. 

Serena: HEEYYY!! WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! 

Luna: (shaking her head) Nothing. Maybe we'd best get these girls up to your room for some privacy. 

Serena: All right. Wow, I just can't believe two new Sailor Scouts popped out of no-where! 

Dalena: Ah, ah, ah. Not no-where. The real world. We already explained. By the way, (suddenly runs over to Serena and starts furiously shaking her hand) I'm your biggest fan!!! - oh, wait, I mean Ami. (drops Serena's hand) Never mind. 

Rachel: Don't mind her. She loses it sometimes. 

Luna: ANYHOW, girls.... 

Serena: Oh, yeah! That's right! My room... is this way! (spins around in a proffessional fashion and falls over) 

Serena: WAAAAHH!! That hurt! 

Luna: (stepping overtop the flailing Serena.) This way, girls. 

Rachel adn Dalena follow Luna in a mystefied fashion. 

They pass by Serena's father who is sitting in the living room. He just mumbles something without looking up. 

Luna: Here's Serena's room, Ladies. 

Dalena: Wow! I can't beleive this! There's Serena's mirror, and her bed! 

Rachel: Hey, where's Rini? 

Luna: Oh, she's staying over at Rei's house. She complains about Serena's snoring, but all the scouts lke Rini, so she has no problem escaping every once in a while. 

Dalena and Rachel explored Serena's room for a while, very excitedly. 

Luna: Well, how would you two like to try out your new powers? 

Rachel: Definitely! 

Dalena: That would be so awesome! 

Luna: Okay then. Rachel, to transform just wave your want in a slow circle around you, while saying, 'Sailor Sunshine Power.' 

Rachel: Okay, but this feels pretty silly. (while waving her wand) Sailor.... Sunshine... Power! 

Suddenly Rachel was engulfed in a bright light. She was lifted into the air. Ribbons swirled around her and formed into delicate pastel blue shoes and a lightly pastel yellow outfit with a skirt that matched her shoes. When she was set back on the ground Rachel looked into the mirror and her fingers flew to her hair. 

Rachel: My hair! It's blonde! 

Dalena: And your eyes- they're blue! 

Rachel: (squealing) This is sooo awesome! 

Luna: Dalena, would you like to go now? 

Dalena nodded emphatically. 

Luna: All right, you do the same thing as Rachel, but say, 'Sailor Daemus' instead. 

Dalena: Well, okay... Sailor... Daemus... Power! 

Dalena was lifted into the air just like Rachel was. Her swirling ribbons formed into sparkling white sandal-style high heels. Her outfit was white, and her skirt iridescent. 

As soon as her feet touched the ground, she whirled to face the mirror. 

Dalena: Cool!! 

She gave her skirt an experimental twirl. 

Dalena: Oh my gosh, my hair's permed! 

Rachel: Do we look awesome, or what? 

Dalena: Definitely! 

Luna: I'm very glad you're excited, girls, but being a Sailor Scout isn't all about fashion. 

Rachel: Yeah. That fighting evil stuff kinda' sucks, though. 

Luna: And you both still have to go to school, too. 

Dalena: What? Bummer. 

Luna: You can both go to Serena's school. Do either of you happen to have school uniforms? No? Well, you can both borrow some of Serena's. They should fit you fairly well, she's about your height. 

Dalena: It's nice to know another short person! 

Luna tossed some clothes out onto the bed. 

Luna: Well, hurry up or you'll be late for school! 

The girls reluctantly changed out of their sailor outfits and into the uniforms, which were strikingly similar to their Sailor costumes anyway. 

Luna: I took care of all your school records for you, you're registered. Now, GO! This is no way to start off your first day of school! 

Rachel and Dalena rushed out the door and down the steps, and practically tripped over Serena. She had fallen asleep at the foot of the stairs and was snoring, with bubbles coming out of her nose. 

Luna: Leave this to me, girls. 

Luna jumped onto Serena's head. 

Luna: SEREEENAA!!! 

Serena: Aaaahhh! You don't have to yell! (Serena looks around) Oh no! I'm gonna be late for school! 

Serena grabs Rachel and Dalena by their arms. 

Serena: Come on! I'll show you to your classes! 

The three girls rushed away, heading for their new school. 


	3. Chaptah 3

(author: rachel) 

Serena: Wow! Luna must have done a good job. According to these schedules you have all your classes with each other and at least one other Sailor Scout. 

Dalena: That's cool. This way we have someoen watching out backs until we figure out what we're doing. 

Rachel: What's cooler is that we have all out classes together. What grade did she put us in? 

Serena: Tenth grade. I bet you don't mind that too much, do you Dalena? 

Dalena: I suppose I'll manage. 

Serena: (looking past Rachel and Dalena) Oh no. Melvin is coming over here. If you want to fit in at this school, you realize that Melvin is a total computer geek. (to Melvin) Hello. What do you want? 

Melvin: Hello Serena. I want to meet your two new friends here. 

Serena: I'm sure Rachel and Dalena don't want anything to do with you. We're busy. If we're unlucky we'll see you later. Goodbye. (Drags Rachel and Dalena off) 

Serena: Oh look! There's Ami! Ami, come meet my new friends. This is Rachel and Dalena. 

Ami: Nice to meet you. 

Dalena: It's nice to finally meet you too. 

Ami: Yeah, finally, uh-huh. 

Serena: Get everyone together for a meeting at my house after school. It's really important. 

Ami: Okay, sure. 

Serena: These two have 1st and last period with you, so why don't you take them to class, and I need you to bring them over after school. Got it? 

Ami: Sure Serena. I'll see you later. Come on guys. Math class is this way. 

*** 

The school bell rings saying last period is out and school is over. 

Dalena: I had a pretty good day. How about you, Rachel? 

Rachel: My day was pretty moof. 

Ami: Moof? 

Dalena: Yeah, my day was pretty moof too. 

Ami: Sure. Well, we better get going to Serena's house. I'm not sure if you'll be staying for the meeting; I guess we'll find out when we get there. 

The three start walking down the street. 

Dalena: Oh my gosh! Look! It's Darien! 

Rachel: He looks even better in "real life" than on T.V! 

Ami: Sinec when was he on T.V? 

Darien: Hello girls. Mind if I walk to Serena's with you? 

Rachel: No, not at all. 

Dalena: You can walk with us. 

Darien: I don't believe we've met. 

Ami: This is Rachel and Dalena. Serena invited them to the meeting, too. 

Darien: Really? Oh, look. We're here already. 

Ami: Wow! We even made it up to Serena's room without realizing it! 

Serena: Oh, good. Everyone's here. First order of business. How was your first day of school? 

Rachel: Pretty good. We made a bunch of new friends. 

Serena: Good. Popularity if 48% of your reason for living. Boys is another 48%. Saving the universe is 4%. 

Raye: That's what Serena believes anyhow. I believe that the world doesn't revolve around popularity. 

Lita: I don't know. It does seem 48% of the reason for living is boys. 

Mina: I have to agree with that. 

Darien gets a sweatdrop every tiem someone agrees. 

Ami: Amen to that! 

Luna: This is ridiculous. I'm taking over. The real reason we're here is to recognize our two new Sailor Scouts. Rachel is Sailor Sunrise and Dalena is Sailor Daemon. 

Rini: Wow, cool! 

Everyone congratulates Rachel and Dalena. 

Rachel: Thanks you guys. It's nice to meet you all. 

Dalena: Yeah. I feel like we'll really fit in here. 


	4. Chaptah 4

(author: dalena) 

Suddenly there is a knock at the door. They all shove Darien into a closet. 

Serena: Um..................... okay, clear. Come in! 

Broccoli Eyes: Hi, I'm here for the party! 

Rachel: Oh, geez! Won't you go away already?! 

Dalena: The party isn't here, gosh dang it! 

Broccoli Eyes: Oh... man. 

Raye: You know this guy? 

Rachel: Sort of. He kind of stalks us. 

Serena: Really? I'll have to put an end to that! Moon..... Cosmic...... Power!!! 

Serena transforms into Sailor Moon and beats up Broccoli Eyes. 

Darien: (knocking on the inside of the closet) Can I come out now? 

Serena: Oh, my precious Darien! Of course you can! I'm afraid I forgot about you! 

Darien stumbles out of the closet as Serena flings it open. 

Darien: Well, it's nice to know I'm loved. 

Serena: (eyes shimmering) Darien.... how could you ever say that about me? You know.... how I feel about you.... 

The screen swings around all dramatic like to show Serena from the side pleading with shimmery eyes at Darien. 

Darien: Okay, Serena, give it a rest. 

Serena smacks into the ground with a sweatdrop, falling over animé style. 

Raye: Sereeenaaa! How could you do that do Darien? Leave him in the closet like that and then claim that you FORGOT about him? Geez, if I were you, Serena, I would take better care of my boyfriend! Serena: Well, at least I HAVE a boyfriend, unlike some people I know! 

Raye: Hey, that's not fair! Or have you forgotten that I was going out with Darien first?! 

A little speech bubble thing appears next to Serena and shows her heart cracking in two. Serena latches onto Darien's arm, with tears streaming down her face. 

Serena: That's it, isn't it, Darien? You still like Raye better than me. 

Darien: Augh! Serena! Come on, if I liked Raye, would I be marrying you in the future? 

Serena: (sniffling) Well... 

Darien: And would Rini still be here? 

Rini: Yeah, Serena, geeeez. If Darien didn't like you, which he does for some unknown reason, I would disappear, or something! (Rini gets a sweatdrop.) On second thought, Darien? 

Darien: Yes, Rini? 

Rini: Keep on liking Serena, okay? 

Darien: Sure thing. 

Dalena: Okay, that's nice, but what about us? 

Luna: Yes, we're getting very off track here! This meeting was to introduce our two new Sailor Scouts, and now that we've done that, didn't you have something planned, Serena? Serena: Oh, YEAH! That's right! I forgot. Umm... everybody turn off the lights! 

Everyone gets sweatdrops but someone flicks off the light. You can hear Serena grunting and bumping around the room. 

Rachel: (to Dalena) Okay, I'm scared. 

Mina: Ow! 

Serena: Sorrrryyy! But you were in my way! 

Mina: Well maybe that's 'cause you turned off all the lights? 

Serena ignored that. 

Serena: (after a couple more minutes) Okay! You can turn on the lights now! 

Darien flicked on the lights. 

Serena: Surpriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise! Hahahahahaha! (giggles uncontrollably.) 

Everybody stares in awe at Serena, who is dressed in a giant chicken costume. 

Artemis: You know, Serena, if you were going to have a surprise party, the least you could have done would be to tell the other Sailor Scouts. 

Serena: (Gets a sweatdrop.) Whoa! Well I was sure it was on my to do list.. First I was going shopping, then to school, bumped into Rachel and Dalena, and..... (Serena fades out, mumbling to herself.) 

Lita: Well, even though we weren't in on this, I did bake a cake, just in case. 

Lita points at an elaborate cake set on a table. 

Serena: Wow, Lita! That's awesome! 

Raye: And I'm sure Serena wouldn't mind letting us use her boom box! 

Serena: Hey! 

Luna: Oh, Serena, don't be so stingy! 

Serena: But, well, my parents are home, and they don't know that I have company, and they don't know who Darien or Rachel and Dalena are... 

Ami: I see your point. 

Raye: Well in that case, lets all head over to my temple! We can have the party there! 

Lita: Sounds good to me! 

Mina: Me too! 

Broccoli Eyes: Yes! I love parties! 


	5. Chaptah 5

(author: rachel) 

After partying all day long Rachel and Dalena were pretty desperate for a place to crash. Serena thought her parents might believe they were cousins of Rini's but the others thought it would be better for them to live somewhere else. So Darien pulled a few strings and got the two girls an apartment next door to his place. 

Serena: I don't like the idea of them living alone. What if the guy next door is from the Negaverse? What if he breaks into the house in the middle of the night and murders them? (tears streaming down her face) Rachel and Dalena are dead! I shall get revenge. That man will not get out alive! 

Darien: Calm down Serena! He hasn't done anything! He's just a poor 80 year old man who has to use a walker to get around. Unless, of course, you'd rather have them live with me. Two beautiful girls in my apartment... that could be interesting! 

Serena: No, that's quite all right. They're Sailor Scouts, they can handle themselves. 

Darien: Good, everything's settled then. Serena, I'll take you home, and I'll check on you girls tomorrow morning. 

Dalena: That sounds great! See you guys later! 

Serena and Darien leave, closing the door behind them. There's about 3 seconds of silence where nobody moves. 

Rachel and Dalena together: Woooohoooo! Yay! 

Dalena: Yes! I can't believe we finally have our own place! 

Rachel: This is SO COOL! Do you know what would make this perfect? Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream! 

Both: Eeeekkk! 

Voice from room below: Quiet up there! We're trying to plan the destruction of the world! Keep it down, would ya? 

Rachel: Sorry! 

Dalena: It won't happen again! 

The camera somehow manages to travel through the floor to show us what's happening in the room below. 

80 year old man with a walker: So Jim, what are we going to do about those bratty little Sailor Scouts? 

Another old guy, this time with a cane: I don't know Joe. Do you have any ideas? 

Joe: Well, I do have this. (pulling something out of his mouth) They may look like ordinary dentures, but look. 

Joe threw the dentures on the floor. His dog came up to them and sniffed. Magically the dentures formed a glass cell around the dog. 

Joe: And no magic can break through it. Plus it's bullet proof! 

Jim: What a great plan! We'll take over the world with these and give it to whoever it is running the Negaverse! 

Both: WAAAAhahahahaha!!! 

The camera moves back upstairs to Rachel and Dalena's apartment. 

Dalena: Geeez! 

Rachel: Yeah, now who's being loud? 


	6. Chaptah 6

(author: dalena) 

The girls run around in circles for lack of anything better to do. 

Dalena: That was fun, now what? 

Rachel: Let's eat the ice cream. 

Dalena: Cool. 

Rachel: Wait, we don't have any ice cream yet. 

Dalena: That's right. We'd better go get some. 

Rachel: Yeah, that is a good idea, Dalena. We should go get some. 

Dalena: I think we should go to the store. 

Rachel: Good idea. I think we should go to a 7-11. 

Dalena: Why a 7-11? 

Rachel: Because I saw one right next to the hotel. 

Dalena: That is a good idea, Rachel. We will go to a 7-11. What kind of ice cream should we get? 

Rachel: Well, we were going to get chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, of course. Don't you remember? 

Dalena: Oh, that is right, I did not remember. 

Suddenly the sun sets. 

Rachel: That was a very pretty sunset. 

Dalena: Yes, let's watch that again. 

Suddenly the sun sets. 

Dalena: Okay, enough of this. 

Rachel: Enough of what? 

Dalena: Never mind. 

The two girls walk out into the hall arm in arm. They come to a blue elevator. They push the down arrow button next to the blue elevator. With a screeching sound the elevator comes to a halt. The doors slowly open, revealing a man dressed in a pink suit with an elevator hat on inside. 

Elevator man: Up or down? Rachel: Um, we pushed the down button. 

Elevator man: Oh, yes, that is right, I did not remember. 

The two girls cautiously walk inside. 

Dalena: First floor, please. 

The man with the pink suit and striped gloves pushes the number one button on the panel, and the doors close as the elevator begins to descend. 

Dalena: Weehee that is fun. 

The elevator man gives her a strange look and she gives him an even stranger one. As they pass the 2nd floor they hear the strange bizarre voices cackling that they had heard moments earlier in their room. 

Rachel: My gosh they are loud. 

Elevator man: Oh, don't mind them, they are just making plans to take over the world and give it over to the Negaverse. 

The two lovely girls are delicately stunned. 

Dalena: The- The Negaverse? 

Elevator man: Yes, that is correct, I said the Negaverse. It sounds very wierd to me. In fact, they claim not even to know who the leader of the Negaverse is. 

Rachel: (distractedly) Yes, that does change a lot. 

Dalena: I wonder who the leader currently is myself. 

Suddenly the elevator reaches the first floor. My that took a while, and the girls leave the confused pink elevator man in the elevator, where he belongs. They walk carefully past the front desk. 

Rachel: Wait! Dalena, weren't we in an apartment building, not a hotel? 

Dalena: Oh yeah. Well, whatever. Mentally change all the places where I said Hotel into Apartment Building. 

Rachel: yes, that sounds good to me. 

Dalena: What does? 

Rachel: Never mind. 

They walk out the front double-doors, their shoes clonking on the pavement. 

Dalena: Oh, look, there is the 7-11. 

Rachel: Let's go and get our ice cream. 

Dalena: But wait! Remember, those guys are trying to take over the world! Maybe we should do something about it. 

Rachel: AFTER we get our ice cream. 

Dalena: Yes, that sounds good to me. 

They walk into the 7-11 and up to the male cashier. 

Rachel: Hello, we would like two chocolate chip cookie dough ice creams, please. 

Guy: Uh, sure. They're over there in the cooler. Why don't you go get them? 

Dalena: No, that is okay. We would rather you got them for us. 

Since the guy is so overcome with their beauty, or perhaps he is just confused, he obeyed. 

Guy: Well, here you go. That totals $3.27. 

Dalena: That is a wierd number for two ice creams. I am not very fond of it. 

Rachel: I am not either. I think that I will just give you $3.30 for them. 

Guy: (blushing) Well, you could do that, and then I could just give you three cents in change. 

Rachel: Yes, that is a good idea, do that. 

The guy opens the purple cash box and puts the green money in there, putting the three dimes into a separate compartment. He reaches his tan hand into the penny compartment and retrieves three pennies. 

Guy: Here you go. 

The cashier guy hands the pennies to Rachel and she puts them in her wallet. The two girls exit the 7-11 carrying their ice creams. They are Ben and Jerrys brand. They have brown and white on the casing. 

Guy: Wait, you forgot your receipt. 

Dalena: No thank you. 

The two girls head back over to the apartment building in which they are staying, glancing up at the glass windows of their apartment. 

Rachel: So what should we do about those guys? 

Dalena: Darien did say that they were just some old guys, one with a walker. I think that we should be able to take care of them okay. 

Rachel: Right, they are not really the problem. The problem is that the Negaverse might have a new leader. 

Dalena: Maybe we could find out through them who the new leader is. 

Rachel: But they don't even know who the leader is themselves. 

Dalena: No, but maybe the Negaverse will reveal itselves to them or something, since they are in league with it. 

Rachel: All right, so what do you say we just keep an eye on them for a while and see if anything happens? 

Dalena: Yes, that sounds good. 

The girls pass by the orange entrance doors and head to the intricately carved blue elevator, glancing at the reception desk on their way. They push the up arrow that is next to the blue elevator and wait for the elevator to come down. 

The elevator doors slide open revealing an elevator guy dressed in a striped suit and pink elevator hat. 

Elevator guy: Going up? 

Dalena: We kind of have to. We can't go down. 

Elevator guy: Oh, yes, that is right, I did not remember. 

The two girls enter the elevator, and the elevator guy puts on some elevator music just for them. 

Elevator guy: This is one of my favourite songs. 

Rachel: I am not too fond of it. 

Dalena: I am not either. 

Rachel: It sounds like something that my great great great aunt used to listen to. 

Elevator guy: Oh, yes, I think I knew her. 

The two girls give him a strange look. 

Everybody stands there staring at each other for a few seconds. 

Elevator guy: Well, what floor do you want? 

Dalena: Third floor, please. 

Elevator guy: Third floor it is. 

His yellow gloved hand presses the number three on the control pad, and the elevator starts going up. The elevator guy turns up the elevator music and starts breakdancing to it. 

Suddenly, the elevator guy stops breakdancing. 

Elevator guy: I'm sorry, I just get so caught up in the song. 

As they pass the second floor they hear the same two voices cackling that they had heard minutes earlier in their apartment. 

The two girls shudder. 

Rachel: We will have to take care of them. 

Elevator guy: Oh, don't mind them, they are just making plans to- 

Rachel: Yes, we know. You may shut up now. 

Elevator guy: Thank you. 

They reach the third floor and the elevator gives off a pretty little ding. The elevator guy turns off the elevator music. 

Elevator guy: I hope you enjoyed your ride. 

The blue intricately carved elevator doors slide open and the girls walk out, their shoes pattering on the carpet. 

Rachel: I would like to go and watch some cable tv now. 

Dalena: Yes, that sounds good. Let's do that. And we can eat our ice cream at the same time. 

Rachel: But what about the old guys? 

Dalena: They are so loud that we will be able to hear them with the tv on. 

Rachel: Yes, you are right. 

The two cousins walk arm in arm down the hall to their room, admiring the watercolors on the walls. 

When they reach the pale brown slightly chipped door, Dalena pulls their key out of her wallet, and places it in the lock. She turns the key, and the lock clicks. She pulls the key out, places it back in her wallet, and turning the doorknob, opens the door. 

They walk onto the flower-patterned carpet and pick up the remote, flipping on the tv. Getting some spoons from their little kitchen, they open up their Ben and Jerrys ice cream and sit down on their king sized bed with violet and green stripes. 

The volume is down, so Rachel turns it up. Since they are unfamiliar with the television stations in Sailor Moon world, they leave it on the channel it is on. The commercial for vaseline ends, and Zach's face appears on the screen. *AN: zach is our cousin :) andy is too, for future reference* 

Zach: Hello. How is everybody today? I wanted to declare a world changing phenomenon today, if that is all right with you. I am the new leader of the Negaverse. The Negaverse rocks. If you would like to join the Negaverse you might be spared, but you probably won't be. First of all I will delete all of the books in the world, because they have words, and I can't stand words. I have made this obvious to my two cousins by practically never replying to any of their glorious letters which are so wonderful. I will now procede to hypnotize the world very slowly, city by city, with my Christian Punk Rock music, which will cause you all to dance insanely until you drop, and I will then steal your pure heart, uh, rings, which I will use to increase my power! As soon as this commercial thingy ends, you will forget all that I have said, inferior mortals. Have a nice day. 

Zach's face disappears. 

Rachel: Oh no!!! I can not believe this! 

Dalena: Yes! He cannot delete Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles books! They are too wonderful! 

Rachel: No! I mean our beloved cousin cannot possibly be the ruler of the evil Negaverse. 

Dalena: Why not? We don't even know anything about him! He hasn't given us anything to go on for years, except that he is in a Christian punk rock band! That should have been a giveaway from the start. . . 

Rachel: No, I cannot believe it. I think that some evil Negaverse queen has possessed him, just like Darien used to be possessed, and we must save him! 

Dalena: Yes, I think that you are right. We must save Zach! Down with the Negaverse! 

The girls are interrupted by loud noises from the room beneath them. 

Voices beneath the floor: Hail Zach! Hail Zach! Hail Zach! 

Rachel: Well, it looks as if we had better alert the other Sailor Scouts. We are in for a tough battle. It will probably last all season. 

Dalena: And maybe we will even meet Sailor Earth! 


	7. Chaptah 7

(author: rachel) 

Rachel: Wow, that could be cool. I wonder if Sailor Earth is a guy or girl? 

Dalena: No clue. 

Rachel: What don't you have a clue about? 

Dalena: You know what? I forgot. 

Rachel: What did you forget? 

Dalena: Who knows! 

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. 

Voice of the knocker: Room service! 

Rachel: Come in! This apartment building is really cool. They let two 14 year old girls have their own room, they have elevators complete with elevator men and elevator music, a reception desk downstairs, and room service! 

Room service woman: You can also call the office and order any food you want brought up from the kitchen. Cool, huh? 

Dalena: It's almost like a hotel. I'll ponder on that later. Come on 'couz! Let's go save the world! 

The two incredibly graceful girls dashed out into the hall and ran right into somebody, knocking both girls and the new person down. 

Rachel: (sitting up) Sorry, I didn't watch where I was going. Are you okay? 

Guy: Yeah, I'm okay. I was just... Rachel? Dalena? 

Both girls: Andy? 

Dalena: Is it really you? 

Andy: Yep, in the flesh, or animé skin-colored ink. Anyhow, there is a reason I'm here. You have to save Zach! He has special powers, and his Christian punk rock band hypnotized him with their music. 

Rachel: That's horrible! 

Andy: The evil witch Pinkalicious has possessed him! And you two Sailor Scouts, I knew that's who you were 'cause every real person brought here is important and you're too hyper to be evil, have to realize that only Sailor Earth can be possessed by any pink witch! Wow, what a mouthful! 

Rachel: So? 

Dalena: If Pinkalicious can only possess Sailor Earth, then why has she possessed Zach? 

Andy: Don't you realize? Zach is Sailor Earth! 

Both girls (in unison): Oh, no way! 

Andy: Yes, and you have to save him! Only extreme embarassment can drive away the evil witch, and trust me, being cousins with you will be embarassing enough! 

Rachel: Thanks a lot. 

Andy: No problem. 

Voices down the hall: Hail Zach! Hail Zach! Hail Zach! (getting closer and louder) HAIL ZACH! HAIL ZACH! HAIL ZACH! 

Suddenly the voices stop. Zach walks around the corner, stopping in front of the girls and Andy, who had finally gotten up off the floor. An evil looking band was standing behind him. 

Zach: So, you think you can defeat me? 

Luna dashed into the room. 

Luna: Sailor Earth! Take this wand and transform. 

Luna threw the magic wand thingy at Zach. 

Dalena: No! 

Luna: Trust me girls. Now Zach, say 'Earth transformation power!' 

Zach: Now I'll destroy you! Earth... transformation.... power! 

Zach spins around all beautiful light and gets all shiny while ribbons wrap around him. As he completes the transformation his suit is revealed. He's wearing only a blue and green zig-zagged pair of swim trunks. 

Zach: No!!! This is so embarassing! Now old men! 

The old men throw dentures at Luna, capturing her in a glass cell. Meanwhile we see Pinkalicious leaving Zach's body. 

Pinkalicious: I can't believe this! 

Zach: Hey girls! Long time no see! Man, I love these swim trunks! 

Pinkalicious: You may have your cousin back, but I have Luna, and I'll be back for the rest of you soon! Muaaahahahahaha!!!!!! 


	8. Chaptah 8

(author: dalena) 

Rachel: Why, hello, Zach, fancy seeing you here. Or, what I really mean is, fancy seeing you here unpossessed. 

Dalena: Yes, that is correct. What a pleasant surprise. 

Andy: Hey there Zaaaaaach!!!! Wanna do some trippin skateboard moves??!! 

Zach: No way, I want to go swimming in these awesome swim-trunks! 

Dalena: Oh yeah, Zach, guess what? 

Zach: What? 

Rachel: You're Sailor Earth! 

Dalena: Congratulations! *hands Zach a creative Sailor Earth costume award* 

The award disappears because it isn't important. 

Zach: What!!!!!?!!!!! How can I possibly be Sailor Earth??? I don't even watch Sailor Moon, I don't even watch animé! 

Dalena: Yes, that's true. And technically only girls should be Sailor Scouts because in Japanese the Sailor Scouts are called Bishoujo Senshi, roughly translating into "Beautiful Girl Sailors" but, I suppose that they COULD simply be known as Senshi, and anyhow, we can break the rules for you, because you're our cousin, so that makes you extra super special, but we REALLY need to get you a new outfit. 

Rachel: Yes, that is right. 

Andy: Freakin'! 

Luna: . . . 

Zach: Aww. . . I like these swim trunks. 

Rachel: Well too bad for you! 

Andy: Oh, yeah, that's right. Right before Luna was captured she gave me Zach's REAL transformation wand to give to Zach. 

Andy pulls out a Sparkly little wand with a small figure of the Earth on top with a star behind it, which glistens prettily in the moonlight, and hums softly. 

Zach snatches the want away from Andy. 

Zach: Awesome 'Possum! How do I use it? 

Rachel: Basically like Luna showed you how to use the fake wand. Just say 'Earth. . . Transformation. . . Power!' and it should work. 

Zach: *giddily* Coooool!!! Okay. . . *shuts his eyes* Earth. . . Transformation. . . Power! 

Silvery ribbons swirl around Zach and lift him into the air. His evil-ish looking Punk Rock Band stands behind him and starts playing the transformation song and singing to it. 

Evil-ish looking Punk Rock Band: (singing) Sailor Earth! . . . Sailor Earth! . . . Sailor Earth! . . . 

Dalena: I never did like the transformation song very much. 

The evil-ish looking Punk Rock Band looks evilly at her and continues singing. 

Evil-ish looking Punk Rock Band: (singing) Sailor Earth! . . . Sailor Earth! . . . Sailor Earth! . . . 

Finally Zach's two and a half minute transformation finishes and he is set back down on the cobblestone ground. The moon shines about him, and he is revealed wearing a dashing, silver-ish, flowing green-ish suit with tails. He wears an off-white silk shirt beneath the suit, and glinting white shoes. He also holds in his hand a carved ivory staff, somewhat like Tuxedo mask's. His hair is also silken white and soft looking. 

Dalena: (enviously) Cool. 

Rachel: (enviously) Wow. 

Andy: (bizarrely) Trippin'! Hahaha! Dude, that looks. . . wierd! I'm gonna go put on my band suit now! 

Andy dashes away. 

Zach jumps about, his hands together in front of him, shreiking in glee. 

Zach: Weehee that is fun!!! 

Luna: . . . 

Rachel: (shouting) Would any other characters like a turn to talk now? 

Any other characters: . . . 

Dalena: Guess not. 

Everybody stands in silence for a while except for Zach who doesn't know when to stand in silence. 

Zach: How do I attack??? 

Rachel: Uhm. . .I am not sure. . . I think Luna told Andy how you were supposed to use your attacks. 

Andy comes running back up wearing his band suit. 

Andy: Can I join your Really cool Christian Punk Rock band??!!?? 

Zach: No. Now how do I do my attacks? 

Andy: (has teardrops hanging from his eyes) Fine. You can do two different kinds of attacks. One type using the staff, the other using the wand. Lift the staff over your head and say 'Crimson. . . Light. . . Attack!!!' or, do the above said, and say 'Pure. . . Love. . . Forever!!!'. You can also wave your wand about and say 'Dream. . . . . . . Meld!!!' or 'Questing. . . Strength. . . Attack!' I think there are some more that I can't remember, and I can't remember what any of those do, but those are your attacks! 

Zach: Awesome! My staff is cool. 

Dalena: Yes, that is correct. 

Rachel: Yes, that is. Dalena, being a Sailor Scout is cool. 

Dalena: Yes, it is. And we had probably better go and seek out Pinkalicious now. 

Zach: We've put it off long enough. I want REVENGE!!!!! 

Luna: . . . 

Rachel: In fact, we had probably find the other Sailor Scouts! I almost forgot about them! 

Dalena: Yeah, and doesn't Tuxedo Mask (aka Darien) live in this same strange apartment building? Let's go get him! Of course, we'll have to go back inside, first, since we seem to be outside. . . that's quite interesting now that I think about it. 


	9. Chaptah 9

(author: rachel) 

Rachel: Why? This is animé land after all. Oh, by the way, CNN breaking news! *censored private information* Okay, you may continue now. 

Dalena: Okay. Thanks for the update. 

Rachel: No problem. 

Zach: (to Andy) Why is it that girls talk about how cute other guys are in front of us guys, but they won't allow us to talk about girls in front of them? 

Andy: I have no idea. 

Luna: It's because- 

Rachel: Oh, I just remembered that Luna has been captured! We must go save her! 

Luna: It's fine. I'm right- 

Dalena: I can't believe I forgot! Let's go tell the others. Quick! 

*** 

Everyone is back in Darien's apartment. The four cousins tell their exciting story with much movement and sound effects. 

Serena: We have to rescue Luna! What could we ever do without her?! 

Artemus: Girls? Luna is right here. 

Serena: Artemus! You poor thing. You've gone crazy with grief over you lost love. 

Luna: No, really... 

Darien: We must save her. 

Mina: Yes, for Artemus's sake! 

Dalena: What we need is a plan. Let's go over what we know so far. Pinkalicious can possess people, like she did with Zach. Luna risked being captured to give Zach his Sailor wand thingamajig. Thingamajig is a cool word. And Pinkalicious is afraid of embarrassment. Is that it? 

Rachel: You forgot that they have those evil old men with dentures. 

Dalena: Oh yes. They also have those evil old denture men. And what happened to the evil Christian punk rock band? 

The evil Christian punk rock band, now knows as the evil band, dashes into the room, playing their new theme. 

Evil band: Evilish looking punk rock band! Now the former evilish looking punk rock band! Or possibly the evil band formally known as Christian punk rock! Now we're the evil band! Tra la la! 

Mina: That's certainly an entertaining theme song! 

Zach: My poor band is going crazy! This is awful. And I'm supposed to be the lead singer! How embarrassing! At least we know I'm not possessed anymore, now that I'm embarrassed to death! 

Andy: So, do you guys like my cool band costume? At least I think that's what it is. I'm not quite sure. It's so cool though! My mom didn't think I should get it. She thought it might make my friends embarrassed to be around me. Now that I know you guys like it I know that I was right and she was wrong. 

Rachel: Um... sure Andy. Cool, yeah, not embarrassing at all. That's right. 

Zach: Yeah, what Rachel said. We love it. Totally cool. 

Serena: What are you guys talking about? It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen! 

Darien: Serena! Just ignore her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. *whispering* She has horrible taste in clothes. 

Raye: Wasn't there something we were supposed to be doing? 

Lita: Like what? 

Mina: Like shopping! 

Rini: And we could have a slumber party! 

Serena: And food? Will there be lots of food? 

Rachel: This could be so much fun. We could get to know each other really well. Dalena? 

Dalena: I agree. 

Luna: I feel so unloved. 

Serena: Oh, that's right! Thanks for reminding me Luna. Luna has been captured. We must save her! 

Artemis faints and Darien hits his forehead and falls over, joining Artemis on the floor. 

Mina/Lita/Serena/Raye/The other sailor scout (I think her name is Amy)/Rini/Dalena/Rachel/Zach/Andy all in unison: Let's do it! 

Zach and Andy: Not this unison thing again! 

Rachel and Dalena: It must be some awful curse we can't get rid of! 

Mina and Lita: Why are you all talking in unison? Hey, now it's happening to us too! 

Raye and Darien: Not us too! 

Serena and Rini: This is funny! I wish it would happen more often. 

Luna and Artemis: Surely it only happens to you humans. Ack! Now it's happening to us too! 

Darien and Mina: What kind of disease did you guys bring from the real world?! 

Rachel, Dalena, Zach, and Andy: Nothing! We swear! 

Amy and Raye: Then the only sensible thing to do is to stop talking. We'll use sign language instead. 

Everyone starts signing with their hands. But the plan doesn't work because everyone's hands are doing the same thing at once. 

Dalena and Rachel: This is crazy! I don't even know sign language! 

Everyone else: Me either! 

Everybody all at once: Will this madness never end?!!! 


	10. Chaptah 10 (double digits now!! *marvels...

(author: dalena) 

A creepy voice from out of the shadows: No. 

Everybody looks scared and runs around in circles and falls over and screams and out of the shadows walks. . . .Broccoli Eyes. 

Broccoli Eyes: Hello girlies. I'm here for the party. 

Darien: O.O Are you calling me a girlie?? 

Serena: WHOA! you look familiar!!! Didn't we already go over this at some point? Like at the beginning of the story? 

Broccoli Eyes: O.O *gasps* Oh my goodness! This is terrible! I never make double-appearances in stories. . . *looks ashamed* Terribly sorry. 

Broccoli Eyes walks out of the room. 

Darien: Would anyone like a cup of tea? 

Luna: Yes, please. 

Darien: Excepting Luna, because she isn't here. 

Luna: . . . 

Artemis: () 

Dalena: Teeeeeeaaaa 

Rachel: Meow. 

There is a knock at the door. 

Ami: (dulcetly) I wonder who that could be now. . . 

Dalena: (in shock) I definitely have no idea! 

Darien walks over and answers the door, and there, silouhetted in the doorway is an elevator man in a rainbow striped eleavator suit and shimmery elevator hat with clear plastic gloves. 

Elevator Man: Hello. 

Darien: Er. . . hello. What, exactly, are you doing here? 

Elevator Man: I have something very important to tell you, but first off, I think you should know, the font color you're using is extremely ugly. 

Dalena: () Sorry about that. 

Elevator Man: I forgive you. This is better. *everyone agrees, because blue freaking kicks ARSE!!* 

A cute bunny hops by in the background. The slightly chipped floor shimmers for no apparant reason. A chill wind blows past. 

Darien: Er, Elevator Man, do continue. 

Elevator Man: Oh, yes, I am sorry. I had gotten distracted. I have a message to deliver to you. 

Everybody waits expectantly for a couple of minutes. 

Serena: Could we have the message? 

Elevator Man: Oh, yes, I am sorry. It's just that derned pink spot on the wall, very intriguing, you know. *he pauses* Yes, anyway, here you are. 

The Elevator man reaches into his beautifully rainbow-y striped Elevator Uniform pocket and pulls out a very pink envelope that emits a faint mysterious glow. Everybody stares in awe at the envelope, and Darien reaches out and takes it from the Elevator Man's hand. 

Elevator Man: O.O Tea. I smell tea. 

Darien: *jumps and sweatdrops and backs away because the Elevator Man has a scary look on his face.* Yes, tea . . .tea. I made tea. It's raspberry/chocolate flavored. 

Everbody gasps. A picture falls off the wall. 

Luna: . . . 

Artemis: . . . 

Elevator Man: I like tea. 

Darien: (). . . okay, okay, FINE! Come in and have some tea with us. 

The elevator man claps his hands and jumps around happily and bounds into the apartment building/hotel room thing and sits on the comfy squooshy floor. 

Elevator Man: Yum. 

Everybody stares at the elevator man. 

Rachel: WHOA! I just had an idea!! I think the reason that we're all talking in unison, well, were, really, is because there are so many of us it's impossible for us all to say seperate comments and have a turn to talk!!! 

Everbody: Hey, I think you're right! 

Dalena: You're brilliant, Rachel!! Since this is the case, I think we should split up into teams for our quest to find Luna, so that in that way we will not be plagued by the unison virus anymore!!! *dances about* 

Everybody nods and smiles. 

Zach: YES!!! I get to be on Dalena and Rachel's team because they are SO totally awesome!! 

Andy: Ooo! Ooo! Me tooo! 

Rachel and Dalena sweatdrop and share a knowing look. Andy? On their team? They shrug. 

Rachel: Well, okay. A team of four sounds pretty good to me. I suppose we could manage without a guide. . .() *looks sadly at Andy* 

Andy: HEY! you have me!! What do you need a guide for? 

Zach: *raises eyebrow* Andy, didn't you, like, have to go back home or something? I thought you were here to deliver my star wand and nothing more. 

Andy: But. . . I don't have a ride home. . . 

Everybody sighs. 

Dalena: Okay, Andy, okay. Come with us. Maybe we can get you home somehow. 

Andy: YAH!!! 

Serena: I'll go with Darien, Rei, and Mina. Ami and Lita can go with Rini and Artemis. I think that should work just fine. 

Elevator Guy: What about me? 

*everbody glares at the Elevator Guy* 

Elevator Guy: Whoa! Freaky. . . 

Everybody sits down and thinks about things probably including *censored: private info* 

Mina: Hey, what about that envelope that the Elevator Guy gave to you, Darien? 

Darien: O.O INDEED! The envelope!! Any suggestions as to what we should do with it? 

Everybody looks suspiciously at the Elevator Guy who is playing with a piece of multi-colored thread that was sitting nonchalantly on the floor and look so appealing he couldn't pass it up. 

Elevator Guy: Hey! Don't look at me! It didn't come with instructions. . .*returns to the thread* What about tea? 

Everyone in unison: In a minute, Elevator Guy!!! 

Elevator Guy sweatdrops and plays with thread. Everyone looks thoughtfully at this mysterious very very pink envelope. 

Lita: We could hang it on the wall. 

Ami: It is very pretty. 

*someone whose name we aren't mentioning*: hehehe, I'm in the story!! 

Rachel: *slaps Dalena upside the head* Looks like somebody has their mind some place other than this entertaining story!! *everyone looks reproachfully at "Lina-Chan" (bwahaha)* 

Zach: What the- ?! Who are you?? 

*someone whose name we aren't mentioning*: I'm *someone whose name we aren't mentioning*. 

Zach: . . . cool. 

Dalena: *pouts* Come on!! Can they please please please please please please stay?? 

Rachel: *raises eyebrow* You might regret it. . . 

Dalena: *looks sad* Ergh. . . perhaps. . . but, they would make such a good Sailor Scout. . . 

*someone whose name we aren't mentioning*: O.O()()() 

Dalena falls asleep on the floor and tries to think of something to do. Darien finally gets up to go and get the delicious smelling tea, and everybody sits around waiting in anticipation for something to happen. Finally, Dalena comes to the very pathetic, depressing, sad conclusion that *someone whose name we aren't mentioning* might not do too well in this story, but that's okay, because everything is spiffily good. *someone whose name we aren't mentioning* waves. 

Darien comes out with an extremely appetizing looking tray of tea. 

Dalena: I'm off to take a shower now. . . 

Everybody nods. 

Rachel: We can drink tea until you get back. 

Dalena: TEA!!! I musn't miss out on the tea!! Hmm. . . *grabs cup of tea and heads off to the shower with it singing "Can't help falling in Love" (the song that goes "I simply can't help falling in love with you," Yeah, I've had that stuck in my head for a while now. *nods*)* 

Dalena walks back in. 

Dalena: Ahhh, that was a refreshing shower. Good tea, Darien! 

Everbody whole-heartedly agrees. 

Darien: We post-poned the letter opening until you got back from your shower. 

Dalena: Oh! So, then we are going to open it? 

Darien: Yes, I believe that we have decided that we are going to open it. 

Rachel: I know, it's quite a remarkable idea. Shall we open it now? 

Everbody stares at the Elevator Man. 

Elevator Man: *coughs and sips tea* This is a nice floor you have here. 

Zach: Yes, let us open it now, the suspence is killing me. 

Everybody stares in great anticipation as slowly tuxedo mask slips his index finger under the slightly crumpled flap of the very pink envelope. As the envelope is halfway opened it tears and tuxedo mask rips the rest of the envelope away. Everyone gasps in astonishment. Out of the envelope comes a very pink piece of pretty stationary. Strange, the way everything seems to be pink. Tuxedo Mask stares for a while at the stationary before unfolding it. 

Serena: Read it, read it!! 

Darien: Ahem, okay, here we are. It says: Dearest Sailor Scouts, it appears you have acquired a few new members, and I must say, their attire is quite stunning. Wherever did they come from, and how do I know that they're new as I just arrived on Earth? These are questions that nobody knows the answer to, so let us leave that topic at rest now. *everyone nods in agreement at this point* Perhaps by now you are wondering who this letter has been sent from? Well, I will sign my name at the bottom of this letter, and you will know then. By the way, what do you think of my stationary? I bought it just for this purpose, you know. In fact, I hand drew the pretty pretty border myself, you know, the flowers. I really like roses, myself. 

Mina: Oh, let us see the border!! 

Tuxedo Mask obligingly passes the letter around and they all marvel at the border. 

Rachel: Very nice. 

Dalena: Indeed. 

Andy: O.o I could do better!! 

Zach: My cursive sucks. 

Tuxedo Mask: I shall now continue the letter. Here we are: As I'm sure you have all seen the border at this point, we can now move on to slightly more serious topics. I don't care for swim trunks. In fact, I prefer to possess girls if at all possible, but Sailor Earth was such a marvelous target I couldn't pass him up. Being the Sailor of Earth and all. Which,by the way, now that I think of it, does not make any sense at all. Because isn't Tuxedo Mask the prince of Earth and-. . . no, let's not go there. *Zach blushes* 

Zach: People should tell me these things before making me the Sailor (aka Senshi) of Earth. . . 

Darien: (continuing) Well, I thought that I should probably let you know that I have captured your delightful little kitty cat, you know, the black one. Her name is "Moon" or something like that. Well, if you want to see her alive again I would suggest finding me quick-like, and that way we can have a little battle, as it's doubtful that you will all be surrendering earth to me without a battle. Though of course, if you were planning on that, don't let me stop you! *darien passes out chocolate to the assembled scouts, ignoring the pleading Elevator Man* Of course, I can't tell you where my secret lair is, it isn't in the script for me to do so, you know. 

Rachel: *hits Dalena* (whispering) Dalena, you're rambling! 

Dalena: *blush* What do you mean? This isn't MY letter. . . 

Darien: *frowns* AS I was saying. . . (continues reading) I do hope to see you soon! I shall be waiting in great anticipation. Anticipation is my word of the month, you know. Best wishes, Pinkalicious. 

Everybody gasps. 

Ami: O.O That was from Pinkalicious?!?! 

Serena: We'd best get looking for her right away!! 

Dalena: *smiles broadly* You know what? I HAVE A SPIFFARICIOUS IDEA!!! *grins* Let's interrupt the story for a moment, shall we? 

Everyone mutually agrees, in unison, of course, since the group is still so gosh dang large. 

*edited for unimportance* 

Rachel: Yes, Dalena, goodness! That's a marvelous idea! And as you said, we had best split up into our groups now! But first. . . I really think that we should go out and buy something so that our hair-styles can match. 

Dalena: That's a brilliant idea, Rachel! 

Elevator Man: OH YEAH!!! 

Broccoli Eyes pops in and throws the Elevator Man back into his elevator. When Elevator Men get out of their elevators, all havoc breaks loose, as has been evident in the last few pages of this letter. 

Artemis: But-! 

Lita: But nothing, Artemis! Now, come on! Let's go!!! 

Lita and Ami and Artemis and Rini run out, followed closely by Serena, Darien, Rei and Mina. 

Rachel and Dalena high-five. 

Rachel/Dalena: Oh yeah! Accessory time!! 

Zach: Uh, but isn't Luna our first priority?? After all, she's like. . . the guide! 

Dalena: (in shock) Okay, Zach, now if there's something that you must learn, it's that when you go into battle you have GOT to look good. It's the first rule in the handbook. 

Rachel: So we need to go out and get hair accessories that will work to best frame our faces. After all, it just isn't proper to have a regular hairstyle in an anime, you know. We're Sailor Scouts! We deserve to be gorgeous! 

Dalena: And anyway, it won't take more than a few minutes! *shakes head* Look, you and Andy can go and buy some lipgloss, if it will make you happy. (brightens) In fact, lipgloss isn't a bad idea!! Rachel? 

Rachel: Oh yeah! Let's get lipgloss! 

Zach: YEEEEAAAH!!! Lipgloss! *Zach frolics about* 

Andy: But, it might clash with my band uniform. . . *cries* 

Everybody happily takes the stairs down to the first level, walks past the reception desk, and out the front door, as the clerk-ish person waves cheerfully. 

They all vaguely wonder why in the world the clerk-ish person is there, and walk out onto the street and down to the 7-11 place or wherever it was Rachel and Dalena got ice cream at earlier in the story. Because, of course, it has all kinds of accessories and things there. 

They walk through the doors and up to the cashier guy. 

Guy: Oh, it is delightful to see you again. I missed you. 

Rachel: Yes, you did. We are here for lipgloss. 

Dalena: And hair accessories. 

Zach: And lipgloss! 

Dalena: We already said that. 

Guy: *sighs* They're over behind that secret door over there, if you want them. 

Rachel: We are not in a secret door-y mood. Please retrieve them for us, so we do not have to go over there. 

The cashier guy obeys, as they knew he would. He comes back with piles of lipgloss and hair accessories. Everyone looks very excited. 

Dalena: Which hair accessories would best accent our faces? 

*AN: Dang! Just realizing how really wierd and superficial and preppy we're sounding at the moment ^^;; kay, continue* 

They spend only five minutes looking through the hair accessories before settling on the ones that they want. Choosing lipgloss is easy, one of each flavour. Zach and Andy are of course both ecstatic, it is in their nature. 

Rachel: Thank you. We will be taking these now. 

Guy: -But wait! You have to pay- 

Rachel and Dalena quickly dashed out the door and onto the sidewalk, shoes clattering, with Zach and Andy both close behind them. They put their hair up into their glamorous new hairstyles. 

Rachel's and Dalena's shoes clatter fetchingly as they walk up the ornate pink-tinted staircase into the strange hotel/apartment building thing. 

Zach: YES!!!! Elevators!!!!!!!! 

Andy: I think I'm going to go the bathroom now, okay? Does anybody mind? 

Everyone ignores Andy, so he shrugs and heads for the lovely men's room. 

Zach leads the way, rushing excitedly over to the third of the ten elevators. This one is pink and green striped. They press the up button that is next to the elevator, and the ornately carved pink and green striped doors slide majestically open, revealing an elevator man dressed in an orange suit with a blue striped hat. 

Elevator Man: Going up? 

Rachel: (Sarcastically) No, we're going down. 

The Elevator Man leans conspiratorially closer. 

Elevator Man: Ahhhh, going down? Very well then. 

The Elevator Man's vibrant eyes scan the scene and he whisks Zach, Rachel and Dalena into the dusky depths of the intricately carved elevator. The pink and green door slide mysteriously shut. The Elevator Man's yellow gloved hand pushes the down button. 

Zach: Uhhhh. . . 

Rachel/Dalena: Shhhhhh!!! 

Zach: . . . 

Elevator Man: (cheerfully) Would you care for a martini? 

Zach: Oh, yes please! 

Dalena: . . . well, okay. 

Rachel: . . . why not? 

The Elevator Man whisks out four stained glass wine glasses, with, unsurprisingly, intricate designs on them. He pulls out a bottle from the glass compartment in the side of the elevator and skillfully pours the four martinis. He distributes them good-naturedly. 

Elevator Man: Cheers! 

The three cousins daintily clink glasses together, leaving the poor Elevator Man feeling neglected, and down the martinis. 

Dalena: Ugh. . . 

Rachel: Ergh. . . 

Zach: WOOHOOOOO!!!!! 

Elevator Man: My, that was fun, whoops, here we are. 

The elevator slides to a gentle stop. 

Elevator Man: I hope you enjoyed your ride! Please come again! 

The intricately carved vibrant pink and green doors slide open, and the three step hesitantly out, into a wide open, and quite regally furnished, room. Most unfortunately, it is carpet, so they are all denied lovely clinking noises made by their shoes. 

Rachel: Hey! Did anyone notice that Zach is still wearing his beautiful transformation outfit? 

Dalena: Oh, that's right! (nervously) I wonder if anyone noticed? 

Zach: If they did I bet they were jealous!!! I looove my outfit! 

Rachel: Zach! This is nothing to joke about! The Negaverse is everywhere, and if they learned our identities, they could destroy us!It's absolutely vital that we keep our identities a secret. 

Zach sighs. 

Zach: So, I suppose this means you want me to un-transform? 

Dalena: Sorry, Zach. Bizarre as it is, I do not believe that is possible. You will simply have to change regularly. 

Zach: But the bathroom is upstairs! 

Rachel: Well, we're not going back up there, now! Who knows what we've discovered here! Just go and change. . .in that corner or something. 

Rachel gestures to a dark corner. 

Zach skulks away. 

Zach: But. . . I don't know where my regular clothes are. . . they disappeared. 

Rachel and Dalena get sweatdrops. 

Dalena: Yes, that is right. Oh well, we shall let him figure that out. They always do this changing stuff behind the scenes. . . 

Rachel and Dalena suddenly sit down on the polka-dotted carpet, and cross their legs sweetly, looking very ravishing, indeed. 

Rachel slowly pets the carpet. 

Rachel: Hey, Dalena! This carpet is quite soft!!! 

Dalena: Ooooh, is it? Delightful! 

Dalena reaches out and pets the carpet as well. 

Dalena: It must be made of silk or something of the sort! 

Rachel gets a sweatdrop. 

Rachel: Dalena, they don't make silk carpets. . . 

Dalena just smiles obliviously. 

After ten minutes of stroking the carpet, Rachel and Dalena realize that Zach still has not returned. 

Rachel: Perhaps we had best go and check on Zach, now. It is possible that he got lost. 

Dalena: Yes, that is true. It is possible. Let's. 

Dalena and Rachel stand up, and patter, but not clink, across the carpet to the dark corner to which they had directed Zach. 


End file.
